Lies, Lies, and More Lies

So I start Shy Oyster then walk away for a week? Is that the way it's going to be? And here I promised to be faithful. Sheesh. Lies, lies, nothing but lies.

And the time at the bottom of my posts? Confirmed, as before: lies, lies, lies.

And the assurance from everyone that setting up my DSL connection would be a breeze? Yup, the Big L. (It's been three years, but I'm still mad about that one. Life as a non-techie is hard. Do you hear me? HARD.)

Here, though, in the spirit of equal opportunity, is the opposite of a lie:

This morning I drove to the grocery store, only about three quarters of a mile away. As I'm tootling down the road, I glance at the left front of my hood and see: a praying mantis! Hanging on for dear life!

Well, methought, if I don't try to save the little critter, I will have to tell a LIE about my heartlessness, and, upon relating the tale, will have to shrug and fib, "I really wanted to help him, but there was nothing I could do. The guy had road kill written all over his forehead."

Actually, there wasn't much I could do, as stopping in the middle of a busy highway is generally bad mojo. So I slowed a bit and drove cautiously to the store. The critter, I have to say, looked relieved when I pulled into the parking lot.

I deliberately chose a spot far away from the maddening crowd, next to some shrubs and small trees. There, I thought, I shall flick him away, all for his own good.

Of course, the little beggar immediately dove under my windshield wiper into a dip, right in the middle of the car where I couldn't reach and couldn't have extracted him even if I could reach.

"Okay," I said. "You better be gone before I get back, or it's curtains for you on the ride home."

When I returned, having been relieved of most of my money in exchange for a few paltry goods, I was pleased to see that he had taken at least some of my advice, having decamped from the windshield wiper/dip and moseyed around to the rear passenger door, next to the bushes. I believe I saw him lift his head and sniff appreciatively.

Except he wouldn't budge. I had to resort to using a coupon to first nudge, then forcefully flick him off altogether into the greenery. I am hopeful that he is safe in his new home. At least until his wife shows up and eats him for dinner . . . Yikes.

All that is to demonstrate that while I am not sparkly, I did once save a praying mantis. So that's something.